Change is Inevitable

Well I have decided to begin this again. For some reason the idea of a blog has always appealed to me but I have never been very good at it. Started several but continued none. So here I go again. Hopefully this time for real.

This post, I dedicate to the memory of my beloved mother and friend, Sharon Irene Nasca.

My mother died on March 25, 2010. I am still in shock about that. It is hard for me to say the words..harder for me to type them. I miss her so very much. Just yesterday I was talking to my two youngest children and mentioning that my grandfather had a wonderful keyboard that my mother had promised to me once they got his things in order. I thought to myself "I'll have to call her soon to remind her..but then I caught myself! And the reality came crashing back again...there will be no more phone calls..no more deep conversations at my dining room table..no more visits at all, no more cups of coffee together...no more spa visits together...the pain is acute. It is hard to breathe. I hate crying, so I won't do it. I only let the tears fall for a moment and then stop myself.

The fact is..my mother led her life in such a way that we know where she is now. She loved God...she lived her life in a constant state of worship. She was thankful for everything and gave God praise for all of it. She taught me how to live and she taught me how to die. So my comfort is in this; My mother is in heaven. She is in the presence of the Most High. She is where she was created to be..where she longed to be. How can I mourn over that? I can not. I am so very thankful we serve a God who made a way for us to be with Him for all eternity..even though we have done nothing to deserve it. I find comfort in the fact that He has always been in control and always will be. This was no surprise to Him and He cared for us throughout the entire process..and He is still caring for us. He provided above and beyond anything we could have asked or dreamed of. We were surrounded by His servants...and we were humbled.

Now I find myself wanting to be a better Christian. I was actually struggling with the idea that maybe I wasn't assured of my own salvation. I want to make sure I am going where my mother is. God is so good that without even praying about my fears, he provided two podcasts that I heard within two days of each other that allayed my fears and satisfied my questions. I know that I am on the right track. I have assurance that heaven is my home..I'm not perfect but I am promised anyway. And God keeps his promises.